Old Rants

There's no rant like an old rant

Chronological ListingReverse Chronological Listing

2000

September
Beginnings
Quest for Words
My Two Cent System
G'Day, Olympians
Take Two ClaratinTM and Don't Call Me In the Morning
Gotta Catch 'Em All
h2o3t7T1h6u4g5s8
Get Rich Quick
Autumn Leaves
The Character With the Most Toys Wins
Let Me Tell You What You Can Do With Your Telephone Poll
October
Karpov Goes For The Gold!
Big Numbers
My Desk
Basketball 2000
Sleep - The Other White Meat
No Ifs, Ands, Or Butts
A Matter of Style
Reading This May Save Your Life
Say Cheese
Lucky Me
Fast Food, Redux
Factor THIS!
The Coming Millennium
I'm Soaking In It
I Hate My Desk Calendar
Kids These Days
A Tight Race
Determinism
Rejected!
It'll Probably Kill You
The Machismo of Coffee
The Zen of Computer Maintenance
November
All Hallows' Eve
Fun with 3D
Politics As Usual
New Coin
The Quantum Election
Civil War
Moderation In All Things
You've Got Mail (and a Virus)
A Mind Divided
The Cruel Page
Insight
Fast, Cheap, Good - Pick Two
Thought Diet
Virus Attacks
The Jinx Syndrome
Progress
Directed Evolution
Dodge This
Musical Goats
Xmas Stress
Adventures in Kanjiland
December
Kanjiland, Redux
I Like My Dentist
Form Over Function
This Is Copyrighted
Attack of the Angry Gumbies
The First Snow
Evil Pondering?
The Klingon Language
Hard Won Car Wisdom
Bush By A Nose!
Mayhem In The Workplace
Viruses of the Mind
Air Travel Gripe
Zombie Shoppers
Post Christmas, But No Blues
Guns Don't Kill People - Bullets Kill People
Stock Market Woes

2001

January
Cheap Buys Gone Bad
Count On Me
My Cup Runneth Over
The Wired Generation
Multitasking
Amazing (To Me)
Sticks and Stones
Gang Aft A-gley
Trees
Snowflakes and Symmetry
Firewalls
Car Ad Madness
Waiting For The Cable Guy
Ghosts in the Machine
Ethics in Government
Monkey See, Monkey Do
The Reboot Monkey
Boring Geek Stuff
The Joy of Grep
Multicultural Meal
Open Brain, Add Facts, Rinse, Repeat
February
Time's Up
Without Redoubt
Decoding the Weather
Sometimes It Really Is A Wolf
The BSA Mafia
A Wide Spot In The Road
Up, Up, Up, In A Puff of Smoke
Mazed
Space Station Alpha
Nanotech? How About Macrotech!
Learning To Hate
The Game of Life
I'm Going Borg
Genotypes and Phenotypes
Pardon Me
Falling Behind
Why Am I Left Cold?
March
Quake Improvements
Song Wrong
Oooo, I'm Shaking
"Social Engineering", My Ass
My Brain Is Hot
Computation Reverse About More
Patience
Give That Man a Cigar
Tiny Futures
The Importance of Being Lazy
Ladybugs Runneth Over
Ahem
April
Javaaaaa
Time, Time, Time
Faster Than A Speeding Photon
Interviewing
No Wonder I'm Losing Hair
How To Kill Your Computer
Bang! Bang! You're... Alive?
Brownian Motion
Internal Weather
Survivor In Space
Phone Support Is Hell
I Killed A Mouse
To Fly, Perchance To Float
May
Free Hash Browns
When Bush Comes To Shove
The Poolcam
Feeling The Pinch
Nanotubes and Me
The Ides of May
The System Worked
I'm Calling The Shots Now
IdeaWare
Politics By Spite
Matters of Size
June
Computer Woes
When Space Is Like Time
Bacterial Ethics
Smoking Lawyers
It Went Swimmingly
Out of Body, Out of Mind
Can't Stop Living In The Past
Ticking Slowly
Auto Highlights
Where's My Harp?
To Infinity, And Beyond!
I, Athlete
Think Forward
July
Office In Your Face
Cyber Requiem
Out Of Luck
This Old Code
Mach 3 and Accelerating
Auras
Under the Influence
Nearly An Untimely Demise
Bugophobia
The Baking of Jim
Cellulose: Considered Harmful
August
Give Or Take A Billion
Bribe Me - Please!
The Sweet Smell Of Success
"Daily", My Ass
The Big Crunch
Small Thoughts
"Direkt Marketting" Blunders
One Day, One Trial
If You Don't Have It, Spend It Anyway
Stick A Fork In Me
September
Sci-Fi Overdose
The Other Evil Empire
Second Person Singular, Where Art Thou?
Why?
Door Etiquette
Garbage In, Garbage Out
Machine Translation
What's Next?
October
Puzzles
Let's Make A Deal
That's My Hat
No Brain Explosives, Please
When Nerds Collide
A Pleasurable Excess
Reconstruction
I Guess I'm A Software Commie
Since When Is Spending Money Patriotic?
Color Me Obnoxious
November
Flying The Unfriendly Skies
I'm Dreaming Of A Green Christmas
Respect The Flag
Hybrid Cars And Me
Happy Thanksgiving

2002

January
Back From The Depths
Perfection
Cause And Effect
Sacrificial Offerings
The Man's Way
+1 Rant Of Pointlessness
Energy Crisis - Solved
Tastes Like Glue
Secrecy, Schmecrecy
Good Ideas Taken Too Far
February
Snowblind
Ties Up - Let's Eat!
Spring Is Coming
Just In Time Maintenance
D'Oh Lympics
Why Is My Computer So Damn Slow?
March
Risk This
The Politics Of Ranting
The Mides Of Arch
Dream News
More Gruel, Please
Deceptive Ads
Just Say "Um, No Thanks, I'd Really Rather Not, Well, Um, OK"
Bad Habits, Good Times
April
Playground Pranks
Dances With Crows
Hit Me, Baby, One More Time
Entropy, Incompleteness, And Historical "Truths"
Vatican III - This Time It's Really Personal
Hodgepodge
Headlines Of Genius
Think Globally, Water Locally
Turbo Solitaire
May
Programming And Trust
Derangement And Playing With A Full Deck
That's Just Ducky
Grade Expectations
Recursion And Me
No Time To Chat
Learning By Doing
June
On Thursday, It Rains
My Next Computer
Tiny Bits
Eating Dirt, Cheap
Disturbing Dreams
Two Great Tastes
One Nation Under Zero, One, or Many Gods, Divisible Only With Respect To The Number And Identity Of Those Gods, With Liberty And Justice For The Majority
July
Under A Pink Sun
Lies, Damn Lies, and "This Programming Language Is Easy To Read"
Pizza: The Perfect Drug?
Moving and Shaking
Telephone Queueing Peeve
Boom, Boom - Out Go The Lights
August
All Mixed Up
Bob's Your Uncle
My Car Needs Love
Paradox And Design
Tanstaafl, Even On The Web
Poetry, Jazz, And Invisible Clothes
Old Duck Eggs
September
Negative Ads And Me
Greed And Local Minima
To Infinity And Beyond, Redux
The Detour From Hell
October
Virtual Memories, Like The Corners Of My Head
The Winter Of Our Disk Contents
Today, A Possum - Tomorrow, A Squirrel?
Impulses, Eternity, Hell, And Mathematics
If I've Evaluated You Once, I've Evaluated You A Million Times
Every Breath You Take
November
Top Ten Reasons I'm So Goddamned Happy The Republicans Won
Nazi Zombies
Arctic Office
Oh My Head
Please Provide Larger Syntactic Units
December
The One True Way
Perfection Pursued (But Paralyzation Produced, Perhaps Predictably)
Yo ho, yo ho!
Chance As Safety Net
Senator Lott, Please Kiss My Baby

2003

January
The Problem With Infinite Monkeys
The Sad Men
Paying To Watch Ads
Please Sir, Can I Have Some Less?
Casting Out Nines
The Real Problem With Spam
AOL - Now More Than Ever!
February
Man Against Machine Across The Chessboard
Trust And The Prisoners' Dilemma
Fly On The Wall
Hypercube Of Evil
Imagination, False Memories, And Compression
March
Standard Deviation And Other Jokes
Messaging Esoterica
Confluence
April
I Procrastinate, Therefore I Am... Eventually
The Taxman Cometh
Cracking Walnuts With Scissors
Solipsism Meets The Infinite Universe
May
Non-offensive Customer Support
Nowhere To Go But Mad
What Price Computers?
My TiVo Is Down
Fun With Möbius Strips
June
Apathy Is Bliss
"Turn! TURN!"
Think Thank Thunk
July
So Hot, So Very Hot
I'm George Jetson
Curmudgeonliness
August
Working At Home
Did You Even Try It?
Chillin'
Clean At Last
September
Midas, I Ain't
No Weigh
Don't Suit Me!
October
Watching My Programmatic Back
Looking For The Gray
The Increasingly Inaccurate Title
Order For The Sake Of Order
November
Electric Heat
Theism, Here I Come!
December
Yahtzee, Solved
Follow My Nose
Prime Prime

2004

January
Prime Crime
Five Miles Uphill In The Snow
Like You Matter
February
Slacking Off
Tidbits
More Rubik's Madness
First A Trickle, Then A Torrent
March
More Thoughts On Rubik's Cubes
April
When You Say "Bud"
The Mitigated Gall
An Itch That Must Be Scratched
May
Less Of Me To Love
Pop Goes The Computer
June
Existence By Fiat
Hot Coffee On A Summer Day
July
The Once And Future Geek
Cleanliness Is Next
August
Rock On With Power Cords
The Eyes Have It
September
Forward, Ho!
Pile On The Coffee, Ma - He's Talking About Solitaire Again
October
Lord Help Us All - More Solitaire
Not More Solitaire?
November
Three Cheers For The Pretense Of Democracy!
December
Visiting The Dark Side

2005

January
Shortest Rant Ever
February
Testing the Optimum
March
I'm 'Enry The Ape I Am, I Am
April
Pragmatic Morality For Atheists
July
The Noise, Noise, Noise, Noise!
October
Wheels Spinning Round And Round
Having a Rebate - What a Lovely Way To Say "We Hope Our Customers Are Idiots"
November
Keep On Keeping On

2006

May
The Contractual Obligation Rant

2006

May
The Contractual Obligation Rant

2005

November
Keep On Keeping On
October
Having a Rebate - What a Lovely Way To Say "We Hope Our Customers Are Idiots"
Wheels Spinning Round And Round
July
The Noise, Noise, Noise, Noise!
April
Pragmatic Morality For Atheists
March
I'm 'Enry The Ape I Am, I Am
February
Testing the Optimum
January
Shortest Rant Ever

2004

December
Visiting The Dark Side
November
Three Cheers For The Pretense Of Democracy!
October
Not More Solitaire?
Lord Help Us All - More Solitaire
September
Pile On The Coffee, Ma - He's Talking About Solitaire Again
Forward, Ho!
August
The Eyes Have It
Rock On With Power Cords
July
Cleanliness Is Next
The Once And Future Geek
June
Hot Coffee On A Summer Day
Existence By Fiat
May
Pop Goes The Computer
Less Of Me To Love
April
An Itch That Must Be Scratched
The Mitigated Gall
When You Say "Bud"
March
More Thoughts On Rubik's Cubes
February
First A Trickle, Then A Torrent
More Rubik's Madness
Tidbits
Slacking Off
January
Like You Matter
Five Miles Uphill In The Snow
Prime Crime

2003

December
Prime Prime
Follow My Nose
Yahtzee, Solved
November
Theism, Here I Come!
Electric Heat
October
Order For The Sake Of Order
The Increasingly Inaccurate Title
Looking For The Gray
Watching My Programmatic Back
September
Don't Suit Me!
No Weigh
Midas, I Ain't
August
Clean At Last
Chillin'
Did You Even Try It?
Working At Home
July
Curmudgeonliness
I'm George Jetson
So Hot, So Very Hot
June
Think Thank Thunk
"Turn! TURN!"
Apathy Is Bliss
May
Fun With Möbius Strips
My TiVo Is Down
What Price Computers?
Nowhere To Go But Mad
Non-offensive Customer Support
April
Solipsism Meets The Infinite Universe
Cracking Walnuts With Scissors
The Taxman Cometh
I Procrastinate, Therefore I Am... Eventually
March
Confluence
Messaging Esoterica
Standard Deviation And Other Jokes
February
Imagination, False Memories, And Compression
Hypercube Of Evil
Fly On The Wall
Trust And The Prisoners' Dilemma
Man Against Machine Across The Chessboard
January
AOL - Now More Than Ever!
The Real Problem With Spam
Casting Out Nines
Please Sir, Can I Have Some Less?
Paying To Watch Ads
The Sad Men
The Problem With Infinite Monkeys

2002

December
Senator Lott, Please Kiss My Baby
Chance As Safety Net
Yo ho, yo ho!
Perfection Pursued (But Paralyzation Produced, Perhaps Predictably)
The One True Way
November
Please Provide Larger Syntactic Units
Oh My Head
Arctic Office
Nazi Zombies
Top Ten Reasons I'm So Goddamned Happy The Republicans Won
October
Every Breath You Take
If I've Evaluated You Once, I've Evaluated You A Million Times
Impulses, Eternity, Hell, And Mathematics
Today, A Possum - Tomorrow, A Squirrel?
The Winter Of Our Disk Contents
Virtual Memories, Like The Corners Of My Head
September
The Detour From Hell
To Infinity And Beyond, Redux
Greed And Local Minima
Negative Ads And Me
August
Old Duck Eggs
Poetry, Jazz, And Invisible Clothes
Tanstaafl, Even On The Web
Paradox And Design
My Car Needs Love
Bob's Your Uncle
All Mixed Up
July
Boom, Boom - Out Go The Lights
Telephone Queueing Peeve
Moving and Shaking
Pizza: The Perfect Drug?
Lies, Damn Lies, and "This Programming Language Is Easy To Read"
Under A Pink Sun
June
One Nation Under Zero, One, or Many Gods, Divisible Only With Respect To The Number And Identity Of Those Gods, With Liberty And Justice For The Majority
Two Great Tastes
Disturbing Dreams
Eating Dirt, Cheap
Tiny Bits
My Next Computer
On Thursday, It Rains
May
Learning By Doing
No Time To Chat
Recursion And Me
Grade Expectations
That's Just Ducky
Derangement And Playing With A Full Deck
Programming And Trust
April
Turbo Solitaire
Think Globally, Water Locally
Headlines Of Genius
Hodgepodge
Vatican III - This Time It's Really Personal
Entropy, Incompleteness, And Historical "Truths"
Hit Me, Baby, One More Time
Dances With Crows
Playground Pranks
March
Bad Habits, Good Times
Just Say "Um, No Thanks, I'd Really Rather Not, Well, Um, OK"
Deceptive Ads
More Gruel, Please
Dream News
The Mides Of Arch
The Politics Of Ranting
Risk This
February
Why Is My Computer So Damn Slow?
D'Oh Lympics
Just In Time Maintenance
Spring Is Coming
Ties Up - Let's Eat!
Snowblind
January
Good Ideas Taken Too Far
Secrecy, Schmecrecy
Tastes Like Glue
Energy Crisis - Solved
+1 Rant Of Pointlessness
The Man's Way
Sacrificial Offerings
Cause And Effect
Perfection
Back From The Depths

2001

November
Happy Thanksgiving
Hybrid Cars And Me
Respect The Flag
I'm Dreaming Of A Green Christmas
Flying The Unfriendly Skies
October
Color Me Obnoxious
Since When Is Spending Money Patriotic?
I Guess I'm A Software Commie
Reconstruction
A Pleasurable Excess
When Nerds Collide
No Brain Explosives, Please
That's My Hat
Let's Make A Deal
Puzzles
September
What's Next?
Machine Translation
Garbage In, Garbage Out
Door Etiquette
Why?
Second Person Singular, Where Art Thou?
The Other Evil Empire
Sci-Fi Overdose
August
Stick A Fork In Me
If You Don't Have It, Spend It Anyway
One Day, One Trial
"Direkt Marketting" Blunders
Small Thoughts
The Big Crunch
"Daily", My Ass
The Sweet Smell Of Success
Bribe Me - Please!
Give Or Take A Billion
July
Cellulose: Considered Harmful
The Baking of Jim
Bugophobia
Nearly An Untimely Demise
Under the Influence
Auras
Mach 3 and Accelerating
This Old Code
Out Of Luck
Cyber Requiem
Office In Your Face
June
Think Forward
I, Athlete
To Infinity, And Beyond!
Where's My Harp?
Auto Highlights
Ticking Slowly
Can't Stop Living In The Past
Out of Body, Out of Mind
It Went Swimmingly
Smoking Lawyers
Bacterial Ethics
When Space Is Like Time
Computer Woes
May
Matters of Size
Politics By Spite
IdeaWare
I'm Calling The Shots Now
The System Worked
The Ides of May
Nanotubes and Me
Feeling The Pinch
The Poolcam
When Bush Comes To Shove
Free Hash Browns
April
To Fly, Perchance To Float
I Killed A Mouse
Phone Support Is Hell
Survivor In Space
Internal Weather
Brownian Motion
Bang! Bang! You're... Alive?
How To Kill Your Computer
No Wonder I'm Losing Hair
Interviewing
Faster Than A Speeding Photon
Time, Time, Time
Javaaaaa
March
Ahem
Ladybugs Runneth Over
The Importance of Being Lazy
Tiny Futures
Give That Man a Cigar
Patience
Computation Reverse About More
My Brain Is Hot
"Social Engineering", My Ass
Oooo, I'm Shaking
Song Wrong
Quake Improvements
February
Why Am I Left Cold?
Falling Behind
Pardon Me
Genotypes and Phenotypes
I'm Going Borg
The Game of Life
Learning To Hate
Nanotech? How About Macrotech!
Space Station Alpha
Mazed
Up, Up, Up, In A Puff of Smoke
A Wide Spot In The Road
The BSA Mafia
Sometimes It Really Is A Wolf
Decoding the Weather
Without Redoubt
Time's Up
January
Open Brain, Add Facts, Rinse, Repeat
Multicultural Meal
The Joy of Grep
Boring Geek Stuff
The Reboot Monkey
Monkey See, Monkey Do
Ethics in Government
Ghosts in the Machine
Waiting For The Cable Guy
Car Ad Madness
Firewalls
Snowflakes and Symmetry
Trees
Gang Aft A-gley
Sticks and Stones
Amazing (To Me)
Multitasking
The Wired Generation
My Cup Runneth Over
Count On Me
Cheap Buys Gone Bad

2000

December
Stock Market Woes
Guns Don't Kill People - Bullets Kill People
Post Christmas, But No Blues
Zombie Shoppers
Air Travel Gripe
Viruses of the Mind
Mayhem In The Workplace
Bush By A Nose!
Hard Won Car Wisdom
The Klingon Language
Evil Pondering?
The First Snow
Attack of the Angry Gumbies
This Is Copyrighted
Form Over Function
I Like My Dentist
Kanjiland, Redux
November
Adventures in Kanjiland
Xmas Stress
Musical Goats
Dodge This
Directed Evolution
Progress
The Jinx Syndrome
Virus Attacks
Thought Diet
Fast, Cheap, Good - Pick Two
Insight
The Cruel Page
A Mind Divided
You've Got Mail (and a Virus)
Moderation In All Things
Civil War
The Quantum Election
New Coin
Politics As Usual
Fun with 3D
All Hallows' Eve
October
The Zen of Computer Maintenance
The Machismo of Coffee
It'll Probably Kill You
Rejected!
Determinism
A Tight Race
Kids These Days
I Hate My Desk Calendar
I'm Soaking In It
The Coming Millennium
Factor THIS!
Fast Food, Redux
Lucky Me
Say Cheese
Reading This May Save Your Life
A Matter of Style
No Ifs, Ands, Or Butts
Sleep - The Other White Meat
Basketball 2000
My Desk
Big Numbers
Karpov Goes For The Gold!
September
Let Me Tell You What You Can Do With Your Telephone Poll
The Character With the Most Toys Wins
Autumn Leaves
Get Rich Quick
h2o3t7T1h6u4g5s8
Gotta Catch 'Em All
Take Two ClaratinTM and Don't Call Me In the Morning
G'Day, Olympians
My Two Cent System
Quest for Words
Beginnings

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