I bought Allison a desk calendar for Christmas last year, one with an office theme. For reasons that now escape me, I ended up with it. This calendar is of the rip off one day at a time variety - and when I say rip off, I really mean rip off. It tries to have a Dilbertian sense of humor about the workplace, and fails miserably.
I don't know why I keep it. Perhaps the masochist in me just delights in seeing how bad the next day's supposed witticism can be. Most days consist of old wives tales and clichés or blatant ripoffs of Dilbert. Even worse, however, are the days where the writers tried to make up their own stuff. Just reading some of the bad ones turns my stomach.
Here's an example of the homegrown type (today's, as a matter of fact):
Excuses Employees Have Given for Not Going to Work:
There were two more entries, but I haven't the energy to type them in. Maybe somebody thinks these are funny - but that somebody is not me.
These is one amusing thing about the calendar, although it is no fault of the publishers'. I resist the temptation to tear off the glue that is left after removing the pages. These is something deep inside me that desperately wants to remove that overhanging ledge of gummed backing, but I deny myself that pleasure. I occasionally have to stop my coworkers from doing it when they drop by my office. It seems to be a compulsion with some people - I like watching them sweat when I stop them.
So, if this year is any indication, you would do well to steer clear of The Office: Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes 2001 when you are shopping this winter. That is, unless you like that sort of slow torture. For my part, I'll be a little more critical when purchasing a calendar in the future. The desk I save could be my own.
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There's no business like rant business.