The other day Allison told me a story that was related to one of my earlier rants. Apparently, some guy was sitting on the back deck of a moving car when the driver of the previous vehicle decided to pitch a butt out of the window. The butt hit the (admittedly intelligence challenged) rider, who reacted by promptly falling off of the car and dying from massive head trauma.
Now, since the story is probably urban legend anyway, I have decided to enhance it somewhat.
In my version, the responsibly driving future victim is behind the wheel of a convertible, seat belted and traveling at a respectable speed, enjoying the beauty of a fall day. He pulls up behind an SUV. Suddenly, the driver of the SUV launches a still burning missile of tobacco and paper from his moving vehicle. In a highly improbable series of events, the butt bounces, is caught in the wind stream of the convertible, and is delivered into the passenger compartment.
And since this is so improbable anyway, let us say that it slides behind the driver's sunglasses and hits him square in the eye. The still burning tobacco sears his cornea with the pain of a thousand suns. In a panic, he claws his glasses from his face with both hands, lacerating himself in the process, but to no avail. The pain continues - he stomps hard on the accelerator in his panic, while the wheel develops a mind of its own. The convertible flips, and the hapless driver is killed instantly (and messily). Then the fuel tank explodes!
What kind of story would this be if the fuel tank didn't explode?
The moral of this little vignette is: don't drive a convertible behind a chain smoking SUV driver while wearing sunglasses. It'll probably kill you.
You can respond to my ranting here.
Sunshine, lollipops, and rantbows.